A List of Things I Hate Ordering in Restaurants

by admin on July 30th, 2009

Inari - Licensed via Creative Commons - http://www.flickr.com/photos/packedlunch/2815284915/ For dinner last night, we ate at Mifune, our usual go to restaurant in Japantown, and my friend ordered inari sushi (see pic in case you have no idea what this is). I, of course, then made a comment about how I thought ordering inari was a total waste of money. Incidentally, he’s our house guest/subletter, and he was paying for dinner as part of our somewhat informal arrangement.

Now that I think back, my comment may have been somewhat rude, but I’ve never been known for my delicate sensibilities when it comes to opening my mouth. Other people’s remarks on my lack of a filter, crossing the line, or TMI are fairly frequent. However, that’s not the point I’m attempting to discuss here.

The point is ordering inari is a total waste of money. The next time you want to eat inari, instead walk into your nearest Asian grocer, preferably a Japanese one for the variety, and buy a can or refrigerated packet of inari (the can’s likely cheaper), a bag of rice, and a bottle of vinegar. Don’t buy inari premade! The markup on those must be like 10,000%. The cost of two inari at a sushi restaurant will likely cost about the same as a can of more than a dozen inari from a grocery store, and it’s the exact same stuff. It’s not like quality sashimi-grade fish, which regular consumers simply can’t buy, as high-end restaurants have a complete lock on the market.

Anyway, the whole experience got me thinking about all the things that I hate ordering at restaurants due to the ridiculous markup. Here we go:

Beverages: Markup on wine is usually 100% minimum. A beer is likely 500%. The margins on soda are also crazy, especially if it comes from a soda fountain.
Anything Potato-Based: Think about the cost of a potato and the cost of enough oil to fry it. Fries and soda are how fast food restaurants make their money. The money’s not in the burgers. Baked potatoes pain me even more, as baking a potato is at least easier to do at home than deep frying (at least in my opinion).
Water: I’m separating this from beverages, because this is even more egregious. Other drinks at least have to be transported by vehicle to the restaurant, which incurs some cost. Water, on the other hand, comes straight from a faucet, incurring a practically negligible cost. Tap water is safe to drink, folks! And your bottle of Evian is killing the environment to boot.
Vegetables: That stir-fried dish of bok choy did not cost $10 to make, nor did the standard disgusting vegetable medley at American restaurants. You know what I’m talking about: the cauliflower, carrot, and squash mix that tastes like it came straight from a freezer.
Chicken: OK, this one varies depending on the place. 99 cents for a thigh and drumstick at Popeye’s is fine, but $15 for a naked chicken breast à la fine dining is not!

If you want to save money but still dine out, then forget about ordering these things!

The funny thing is I, of course, still order all these menu items (except for non-tap-water) from time to time, but it won’t stop me from fuming when I do. Yes, I realize that there are other costs associated with the food aside from the food itself, but I’m really just comparing the cost of consuming these items at a restaurant versus consuming these items at home. These, to me, appear to be the worst choices in terms of comparative cost while taking availability to the home chef into account. For example, raw geoduck would never appear on my list even though I’m sure it’d cost me less to prepare it. Because where would I even buy that if I wanted to eat it anyway?